} //

it's funny to think that things "just end" in one moment. once you got there, it's over.. no turning back. too bad you can't relive something like that anymore. haha.

well, the question is.. will it really "end just like that" tomorrow? i don't know.. maybe yes, maybe not.. wait.. let me think.. maybe it's my choice to make it end after all.. will i choose to forget it all and start a new beginning.. is that what they call "moving on"?

obviously, everything is not yet over. there are still those stuff that stay with us, whether we like it or not, for the rest of eternity. it's an interesting fact that we choose not to forget some things even we do not like them to be cherished forever. maybe it's because we are shaped and molded by our past adventures and experiences with or without different kinds of people. we are who we are now and tomorrow thanks to those experiences, all sorts of them.

apparently, i choose to cherish all things, good and bad, of yesterday... i seem to be wanting those memories to just be kept in these pages of time. not just for keepsake, but also to be the foundations of what will be the personal lessons for my future life.

the things i should have done before are things that i would not at least try to forget... how can i forget such stuff involving my own personal life.. stuff that makes long-term effects to my insides.. ah well, it's my own fault after all.. i should have been more assertive. but no.. i tried not to make mistakes... anyhow... maybe i'll just let time pass by wearing fake smiles and saying lies just to make all things seem well.

about my undisclosed things in life.. well... they're not much of secrets anymore.. it's been a great relief to have people tell about stuff. though they could have been not really caring about things like that... but still, there's this feeling of being talked to.. oh.. i feel like being loved.

but then there's always such a thing as recalling the past, wherein you just laugh because you realize how naive you were back then.. always doing what you think is right or doing what you simply like to do.. not even stopping for a second to think the aftermath of such actions... or rather, always thinking what would happen if i do this or i do that..

anyway, past is past.
present is present.
future is the combination of both.. or at least i think so.